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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    - Black Vinyl
    - Red OBI Strip
    - Matt Black Inner Sleeve
    - Reverse board outer sleeve
    - Double-sided 12" insert on matte art paper
    - Download code included

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Cool Greenhouse (album) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      £18 GBP or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    'The Cool Greenhouse' on CD in card digi-sleeve.

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Cool Greenhouse (album) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      £10 GBP or more 

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      £1 GBP  or more

     

  • Buy the Full Digital Album

  • Limited Transparent Green Vinyl + Mystery Seeds
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Available on CD & special Melodic Records edition (limited to 300 copies) on transparent green vinyl, exclusively available through The Cool Greenhouse Bandcamp & Melodic shop.

    Melodic limited copies come with an envelope containing mystery seeds. The first person to germinate their seeds and send the label a picture of their plant will receive the original album cover painting by frontman Tom Greenhouse! The person to grow the tallest plant by the end of the year will receive an exclusive mystery prize.

    - Limited to 300 Copies on transparent green vinyl
    - Red OBI Strip
    - Packet of Cool Greenhouse Mystery Seeds
    - Matt Black Inner Sleeve
    - Reverse board outer sleeve
    - Double-sided 12" insert on matte art paper
    - Download code included

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Cool Greenhouse (album) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.     ... more

    Sold Out

about

In DIRTY GLASSES loathsome M.T bangs head against walls as band set up as window-washer entrepreneurs [REVEAL: this music is business-savvy PR stunt only to drum up punters].

lyrics

Well Margaret Thatcher
Had very dirty glasses
You should have seen how
Dirty her glasses were
She couldn’t even see the world
And little Freddie Hayek
He had very dirty glasses
Unbelievably dirty glasses

And when I went to dinner with Margaret Thatcher and Freddie Hayek 
at their house, the other week
Well I went into the kitchen and I opened up one of the cabinets
And I could not believe how dirty her glasses were
It was disgusting

Well they say that we might all have dirty glasses
Like they said Trojan horse would be forgotten
But we represent a different platform
Dispossessed pinko middle classes
Who have very dirty glasses
And anyone else who has very dirty glasses


Y’see the purpose of this band
Is to offer a glasses cleaning service
At a very reasonable price
So if you have dirty glasses
You can bring them to the front 
And we’ll clean them for you
And we’ll do the very best job
That we can

At this point the audience
In this fictional performance
Goes home and fetches their glassware
And brings it back to the pub
And hands their dirty glasses to the band
And then there’s a standing ovation

Wahey!

Now finally you can relax in your clean greenhouse
Your cool green greenhouse
As you enjoy your new favourite least favourite band
The cool greenhouse

And you know these days there’s an authentic need
For an authentic counterculture
But unfortunately there’s just the cool greenhouse
With their cool glasses

Well poor old dead Fidel
Y’know he had pretty clean glasses at the beginning
But even he had
Pretty dirty glasses
Towards the end
Which is where we’re at
The end

credits

from The Cool Greenhouse (album), released May 29, 2020

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

The Cool Greenhouse image

The Cool Greenhouse UK

music to lose scratch-cards to.

compliments: thecoolgreenhouse@gmail.com

label: andy@melodic.co.uk

bookings: thecoolgreenhouse@gmail.com

give us money: patreon.com/tgreenhouse ... more

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