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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    - Black Vinyl
    - Red OBI Strip
    - Matt Black Inner Sleeve
    - Reverse board outer sleeve
    - Double-sided 12" insert on matte art paper
    - Download code included

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Cool Greenhouse (album) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      £18 GBP or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    'The Cool Greenhouse' on CD in card digi-sleeve.

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Cool Greenhouse (album) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      £10 GBP or more 

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      £1 GBP  or more

     

  • Limited Transparent Green Vinyl + Mystery Seeds
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Available on CD & special Melodic Records edition (limited to 300 copies) on transparent green vinyl, exclusively available through The Cool Greenhouse Bandcamp & Melodic shop.

    Melodic limited copies come with an envelope containing mystery seeds. The first person to germinate their seeds and send the label a picture of their plant will receive the original album cover painting by frontman Tom Greenhouse! The person to grow the tallest plant by the end of the year will receive an exclusive mystery prize.

    - Limited to 300 Copies on transparent green vinyl
    - Red OBI Strip
    - Packet of Cool Greenhouse Mystery Seeds
    - Matt Black Inner Sleeve
    - Reverse board outer sleeve
    - Double-sided 12" insert on matte art paper
    - Download code included

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Cool Greenhouse (album) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ... more

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about

THE STICKS is a schizoid paranoia epic. A WARNING re: your move to pastoral Tory environs with too little to do. Take Heed! It was recorded live with whiskey @ 4am post late night band trip to cinema.

lyrics

Well you can go a bit nuts out here
Spending all day looking for your cigarettes or your glasses
Or plugged into high-minded conspiracy theories
About all the piano-playing cats,
Trained by the government and uploaded by devious civil servants 
to subdue your mind
And I guess that’s why they say that musical pets 
are the new opiates of the masses
But just don’t forget 
That nobody actually says that 

And It’s true
The true oddballs are stationed in the market towns
And all you meet 
are ex-military personnel 
with dark browsing histories 
Or children’s entertainers 
with questionable intentions
And all the village shops
And all the village shops are definitely manned by robots

So is this the kind of catharsis you were  after?
Strange shapes appear in the mirror when you’re not there
And you can hear people’s skin crack at regular intervals
When the sun comes out
They’re all engaged in projects of a strange nature:
Fixing watches at the weekends
Or handing out unintelligible leaflets  
for no reason
They’ve got your number
They’ll be seeing you
Better stay in from here on in…

And sometimes when you close your eyes
There’s grinning Jimmy Saville’s painted on your inner eyelids
Other times it’s Yoko Ono’s on treadmills 
stretching out into infinity
Or there’s Kermit the frog doing up his flies 
On the beach on repeat
These things all reinforce the need 
for a proper occupation

Find clipped toenails still growing near the basin
A little camera in the shape of a bit of eggshell in the bread bin 
Surveillance wires disguised as bits of spaghetti 
down the side of the oven

Today the birds are flying unusually low to the ground
And the insects are flying unusually close to the clouds
There’s all sorts of inversions that you need to get your head around
Clerical workers are lurking in the long grass
With remote controls, dog shit bags and their sons
And God only knows, what they’ve been feeding the ducks
And God only knows, what they’ve been feeding the ducks
And God only knows, what they’ve been feeding the ducks

Make some elderflower wine, or some sourdough
Well that’s the kind of thing you’re meant to do around here
Wrap it up in old brown paper and you can sell it for a fortune
To all the city weekenders 

If only you didn’t have the weird feeling 
that your arm is not your arm.

And the strange plants growing in the outcrop near the village
Have been plagiarising your dreams. 

And everything’s conducted in hushed tones
In the market towns 

credits

from The Cool Greenhouse (album), released May 29, 2020

license

all rights reserved

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about

The Cool Greenhouse UK

music to lose scratch-cards to.

compliments: thecoolgreenhouse@gmail.com

label: andy@melodic.co.uk

bookings: thecoolgreenhouse@gmail.com

give us money: patreon.com/tgreenhouse
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