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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      £1 GBP  or more

     

  • Buy the Full Digital Album

  • Limited Edition Cassette
    Cassette + Digital Album

    Run of 70 green tapes released via Hidden Bay records.

    Comes with a hand-made artisanal crap cardboard pet!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Crap Cardboard Pet via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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  • Limited Edition 10'' Vinyl
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Edition of 200 copies courtesy of Lumpy Records (USA). Includes:

    1 x 10'' vinyl record with hand-stamped red ink labels
    1 x mint green card wrap-around card sleeve
    1 x paper poster insert by Russell Taysom (black)
    1 x unique 'crap cardboard pet' (small)

    All proceeds will go towards the mixing and mastering costs of the Cool Greenhouse's forthcoming debut album

    Includes unlimited streaming of Crap Cardboard Pet via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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  • SUPER DELUXE HYPER LIMITED 10" VINYL
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Limited to 25 copies worldwide only.

    Each Super Deluxe Hyper Limited Version Includes:

    1 x 10'' vinyl record with hand-stamped red ink labels
    1 x mint green card wrap-around card sleeve, (signed and numbered for this edition only)
    1 x paper poster insert by Russell Taysom (black)
    1 x unique 'crap cardboard pet' (small)

    PLUS

    1 x hyper limited red risographed art print on high-quality card (Munken Pure, 240gsm) by Russell Taysom (limited to 25 copies only, signed and numbered verso)
    1 x unique 'good cardboard pet' (colourful acrylic on cardboard, signed verso, large)

    All proceeds will go towards the mixing and mastering costs of the Cool Greenhouse's forthcoming debut album.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Crap Cardboard Pet via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.     ... more

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about

The Cool Greenhouse consider getting a pet...

lyrics

Well pets don't care about your new haircut
And a pet doesn't give a crap about your recent hernia operation
But I think it might be important to have a pet
But then again y'know it's hard to move around with a pet
And pets don't know about the geo-political situation
Well this can be comforting, but it can also be distracting
And pets require care and cost money
But you can probably afford one
Especially if you give up smoking

Oh, pets
I'm thinking all about pets
I think it'd improve my life if I got a pet
Yeah pets

And pets ensure that you leave the house
'Cause they need walking
But this can also get annoying
And what if you buy your pet when it's very small
And then it grows up not to like you as a person
Well pets can get you rather obsessed
Sometimes you can't see when your pet is doing wrong
Because you love your pet so much
Well pets are a kind of animal
And can a plant be a pet? No

Pets
I'm thinking all about pets
I think it might improve my life if I got a pet
And what's better, to have a partner or to have a pet?
I dunno...

Well try not to run over your pet
And don't keep your pet in a plastic bag
Unless your pet is a carton of milk
An ant and a twig don't make a very good pets
Because they're easy to lose
And watch out for hippies
Y'know they keep rocks as pets
And one good thing about a pet is that you can teach it tricks
Well even when it's old
Y'know that's a common misconception
But pets can't play the guitar and aren't very useful
But apparently Phil Collins keeps a worm that knows how to drum
And I hear that Patti Smith's favourite pet is an earring
And unfortunately a pet can't sit next to you on a plane
But someone should really set up an airline in which they can
Don't you think?

And if you need to take your pet on a plane
Well if it's a pigeon you can keep it down your trousers
Or if it's a tortoise you can disguise it as a hamburger
Or disguise it as a codpiece

Oh, pets
I'm thinking all about pets
I think it'd improve my life if I got a pet
Yeah pets

And this bit's for the kids
You know a cat goes woof
And a dog goes meow
And a little mouse goes Cocka-doodle-doo
And a pokemon card goes nothing
And an oyster goes click
And a little rabbit goes sniff sniff sniff
And a carton of milk goes nothing again
And something goes something
And nothing goes

And a periodontal scalpel goes sllurrp
And your mother goes stop
And your dad goes carry on

2,3,4 Pets
Yes I'm thinking all about pets
I think it's improve my life if I got a pet
Well what's better, to have a partner or to have a pet?
I dunno...

credits

from Crap Cardboard Pet, released June 28, 2019
Music and lyrics by The Cool Greenhouse.

Mastered by Joe Caithness Mastering.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

The Cool Greenhouse image

The Cool Greenhouse UK

music to lose scratch-cards to.

compliments: thecoolgreenhouse@gmail.com

label: andy@melodic.co.uk

bookings: thecoolgreenhouse@gmail.com

give us money: patreon.com/tgreenhouse ... more

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